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What is Social Intelligence? From the definition of intelligence, it stands to reason social intelligence (SI) would be the ability to learn, reason and apply knowledge.. about people, just like numerical intelligence would be the ability to learn, reason and apply knowledge about numbers.

But SI is not merely cognitive intelligence applied to the social domain; social intelligence includes the crucial elements of unpredictability (the same word and/or actions can produce different results) and interactivity (it must be experienced and practiced with others; it cannot be learned soley from a book).

Why should we teach something that students will learn through life experience?

If the purpose of education is to teach students skills they need to be well-prepared for life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness...and most likely the pursuit of gainful employment, then teaching social skills must be a crucial part of education.

In the career world, it may be possible to have another person write one's resume and cover letter, but it is not possible to have another person interview for the job. Recruiters know someone's likeablity is a major factor in hiring decisions; no one wants to spend 40 hours a week working with someone who makes them uneasy, angry, or whose negativity and complaining lowers their moods.

At a character education conference I attended, Educational Psychologist Dr.William Glasser (originator of Choice Theory) estimated that over 80% of our happiness is dependent upon our relationships. Emperical evidence shows children experience more success in all areas of the curriculum upon learning relationship skills in Glasser schools.

The newest studies (to be published later this year) show students' achievement test scores rise approximately 11 percentile points when schools incorporate the teaching of social intelligence.¹

Shouldn't this be taught at home rather than school?

It should be taught in both places, for three reasons:

1. Parents of children with low SI often have similar issues themselves; either they are incapable of teaching them the needed skills, or they mislable a child's "odd" behavior as mis-behavior.

2. It's rare for a child to be bullied for having poor math or language arts skills; it is extremely likely for a child to be bullied for having poor social skills.

3. Emperical evidence exists for students taught SI, showing they "improved on every measure of positive behavior, like classroom discipline, liking school, and attendance – and went down on rates for every anti-social index, from bullying and fights to suspensions and substance abuse. What’s more, there was a drop in numbers of students who were depressed, anxious, and alienated. And all these gains were in as impressive a range as those for academic achievement."²

How does someone feel who has low social intellligence? A window into someone else's world...

People with low SI often feel there is a code that everyone else understands, but them: There is a set amount of space between people conversing without "getting in someone's face" that they cannot automatically sense; a way to look people in the eye without "rudely" staring; and a way to correct a person's misconception without having the explanation sound insulting, which they cannot locate the words nor acquire the tone for.

People with low SI go against what we know as polite and respectful without ever meaning to be either. It touches every part of their lives--careers, school, friendships, family relationships, and every social situation they find themselves in. As one young man with low SI (Asperger's Syndrome) said, "I wouldn't wish this on anyone".

Is teaching SI wasting time for children who already have high social intelligence?

     From the information and evidence above, it's clear that all children benefit by the teaching of Social Intelligence. Children in the high range benefit by both by honing their skills and by having their school environments become safer and more conducive to learning. They also benefit by gaining empathy-- a byproduct of experiencing the different points of view and feelings of other children in the classroom.

Why is empathy important? People with low SI and anti-social criminals have one thing in common--they lack empathy. The difference is that criminals DON'T CARE how other people feel or about the negative consequences others face by their actions.

     People with low SI do care about others, they just don't understand that others interpret things differently and have different feelings than they do about situations; they look at everything in life through their own lenses, not realizing there are many points of view.